In the news today a large hole was discovered in the wall surrounding the nudist camp in Southport. The police are now looking in to it. 

A giant and a dwarf have escaped from prison. Police say they are looking high and low for them.

A mirror was stolen from the school toilet today. police are looking into it. The thief also took some soap and a sponge and appears to have made a clean getaway.

 A thief today stole the world's largest pair of braces: it was the biggest hold up for years!

Ten boxes of boxes of perfume have been stolen today. Police dogs are on the scent.

A cheeky burglar yesterday broke into Carlisle police station and stole the toilet. Chief Superintendent Plod leading the investigation said, ‘we’ve got absolutely nothing to go on’. 

Two old lady were flashed in Newcastle today, apparently one of the old ladies had a stroke … but the other couldn’t reach.

Scientists today claim that diarrhea is hereditary ... Apparently it runs in your jeans.