EXTRAS

The following verses can be found written on gravestones:

Here lies a man who met his fate

Because he put on two much weight

To overeating he was prone

But now he's gained his final stone

Eric Fibber

He never told the truth, Now here he lies ... still

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED …. GIVE UP SKYDIVING.

Hey fiddle fiddle

the cat done a piddle

all over the bathroom mat.

The little dog laughed 

to see such fun

so he peed all over the cat.

While sitting on a toilet the old man said to himself:

Here I sit broken hearted

I paid my penny and I only farted

I take the bus home everyday but my mum always makes me bring it bACK.

Mary had a little lamb,

It's name was little Ralph,

Ralph is on a fire today,

Because of Foot and Mouth.

Mary had a little lamb, 

It's fleece was white and whispy.

It caught Foot and mouth today,

And now it black and crispy.

Mary had a little lamb,

she tied it to a pylon.

10,000 volts went up it's bum 

and turned it's wool to nylon.

Mary had a little sheep

with her one night, it went to sleep.

The sheep turned out be a ram, 

now Mary has a little lamb.

Mary had a little lamb

she kept it in a bucket

and every time the lamb jumped out, 

the bull dog tried to ... put it back in again

Mary had a little lamb

she kept it as a pet

And when the price of meat went up

she ate the little get.

Mary had a little lamb

the butcher chopped it dead,

she took it to school the next day

between two hunks of bread.

I'm a little tea - pot

short and silly.

Here's my handle

here's my willy.

When the tea is ready

hear me hiss.

Lift me up and watch me p**s.

THE ONLY THING YOU TOOK UP AT SCHOOL WAS SPACE .

WHEN ALEXANDRA GRAHAM BELL FIRST INVENTED THE TELEPHONE, WHO DID HE RING?

THAT COAT FITS YOU LIKE A GLOVE ... IT’S A PITY IT DOESN’T FIT YOU LIKE A COAT. 

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie.

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came out to play

He kissed them too, cos he's funny that way.

IF BATMAN IS SO SMART WHY DOES HE WEAR HIS UNDERPANTS OUTSIDE HIS TROUSERS.

There was a young lady from Gloucester,

whoses parents thought they had lost her.

From the fridge came a sound

and at last she was found.

The trouble was - how to defrost her.