SILLY SIGNS

Outside a police station. Burglar wanted. Apply within.

On Shop Doors:

HEALTH FOODS ... Closed due to sickness

TRAVEL AGENTS ... Gone on holiday

PHOTOGRAPHERS ... Back in a flash

SHIPBUILDERS ... Gone to launch

CLOCK REPAIRS ... Back in a tick

On the wall in a girls toilet:

We aim to please,

You aim, too, please.

Be alert. Your country needs lerts.

Bill Stickers will be prosecuted. - Bill Stickers is innocent.

In the lads toilets. Christine. If you're reading this, we're through.

I've told you fifty thousand times. Stop exaggerating.

Written on the top of the wall in the lads toilet. If you can aim this far ... you should be in the fire brigade.

Notice on a country footpath: FREE ACCESS. Added underneath: UNTIL THE BULL CHARGES.

Saliva drools, ok.

Play carefully. Accidents cause people.

In a bakery: Ladies get fresh here.

In a video shop: Why not rent out a movie for a dull evening.

In a bargain basement store: Don't go to another shop to be cheated - come in here.

On a building site: Night-watchman patrols this area 24-hours-a-day.

In a hospital: Dangerous drugs must be locked up with the Matron.

Outside a social club: Closed tonight for special opening.

On an optician's door: If you can't read this sign, come in.

In an employment agency: Wanted ejection-seat tester. Involves small amount of traveling.

In a hotel: Ladies are requested not to have their children in the cocktail room.

In a restaurant: Steaks and chops are grilled before our customers.